Sorry for not blogging the past few months, been BUSY with stuff and of course, entertaining my loser friends who keep asking me to go out with them.

Anyw, yesterday me and my sister went out to east coast park and she saw this angmoh man who was jogging and she was drooling over him.

Her drool would be enough to supply the poverty-striken Zimbabwe with water lah.

& she was covered in sweat, because she was just too horny!

So, i asked her to flirt with him but apparently she was too shy.
I persuaded her to go talk to him because she would not see him again and this would be just another of her usual crushes, but of course i just wanted to see her embarrass herself. :D

Inspired by me and my sister's trip to east coast...

Welcome to Aqil's lesson on 101 ways to be a slut! However, because you are reading this blog for free, we shall cut that amount to 2 ways.

Now the first thing you have to know about being a slut is that you dont have to be naked.

Understand Joshua? YOU DONT HAVE TO BE NAKED.

Put your pants back on!

Now the art of seduction, is taking off something as simple as a shawl sexily

So since my sister is in the park, she decided to take off her shoe!

& this is what happened :

I shall use Cat to represent my sister.

Cat: (Running running...)... (Falls down) Oh my!

Angmoh man: Hey, you alright there?

Now here's the most important skill, it is to moan.

Cat: Moans like a walrus.

And then he would carry her to the hospital. But this plan can only take place if you are not so fat lah.

SO HERE'S THE RECAP:

1) Take something off sexily.

2) Moan!

NOTE: When taking something off sexily please be mindful okay. Knowing that you have saggy boobs, don't take off your bra please.

Understand Joshua? DONT TAKE OFF YOUR BRA.

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Okay, i shall blog about the outings i had since 30 days ago.

Went to escape to celebrate Anne's birthday! :D

It was suppose to be a 6c outing, but since ____ had been bugging ppl to come and being an annoying brat, only 4 people that could tolerate her came.

& since the escape entrance fare is fking expensive, i decided not to buy a present. Kuakua..

Can't explain everything in full details so i can only blog what i can remember.

Went almost all the rides, except the children train and ferris wheel. :D

I cant remember anything else leh, but it was fun lah.

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On Friday went ice skating with mel and joshua at kallang!!

Actually both of them planned to meet at 11, but being kiasu i woke up at 9!

Went to tanah merah in search of joshua's house as i wanted to eat my free breakfast at his house but was afraid his parents would scold.

Joshua was grumpy cos i woke him up D:

So, joshua and i took mrt to kallang to meet mel, but that bitch was'nt even ready when we reached there and plus she dint bring much money so josh had to pay for her outing.(HAHAHA)

We waited at the bus stop and many people were staring at us, maybe they thought josh was a transexual, you know cos he was born with freakishly large breasts and all.

So after joshua's breast milk turned mouldy, Mel finally turned up :D

Took a free shuttle as i refused to pay half of the taxi fare.

Reached to kallang which is in the middle of nowhere.

Went skating straightaway.

First time for me, yet im still better than josh!

Mel skate so fast, then leave us behind D:

She think she's a pro lah. :D

So halfway joshua fell on his ass, he claim that its a hard fall and its on his tailbone or sth.

Lucky he's fat, if not he would fracture his bone.

tsk, fat people.

After the fall joshua dint skate that much, just stand in the middle of the ring like some loser.

Dint take pictures cos we put our phones in the lockers.

After skating we cant decide where else to go, Mel wanted to go karaoke, i wanted to watch quarantine!

So in the end, we decided to go bowling!!

But the alley all packed, and the cashier person is fking pissy, he was so annoyed when we asked him if got space.

put our names on the waiting list and went to eat at the food court, D:

Dint know what to order lah, Mel ordered chicken rice and josh ordered fried carrot cake.

I wanted to order fried carrot cake too, but dint know how to pronounce in chinese! And the man was so impatient so i pointed to the first thing on the menu board.

Which was this black noodle shit.

Even my shit looks nicer than it lahh.

In case you're wondering whats that brown liquid thing, it was because i ate the cockle in it and it taste like its rotton so i spit it out.

Somemore the stall had framed some newspaper article which was long time ago saying that their stall has excellent food.

LIARRRRR.

Bet they print it out themselves using microsoft word.

I threw my fried noodle thing away, and we ordered dessert!

Mel recommended Mango ice kachang.

So i ordered that, but halfway when the woman was making it, i told her i did not want red beans.

Then she got pissed and scolded me.

She must have spitted in my kachang or sth lah, as revenge.

After that went to arcade and played MARIO KARTTTT.

Mel found $7 on the floor! D:

Josh won almost all of the rounds -.-

Then played LETS GO JUNGLE!!

But it ate our money lah.

Went back to bowling alley and it still wasnt ready.

Mel and i decided to buy some chicken stick from korea and its the BEST THING EVERRR.

I swear lah, its so nice that i might have sex with it.

and the korean woman there was so cuteee!

Not cute as in her looks lah, cos she's quite ugly.

But the way she speaks and how she phrases her words.

Actually we wanted to order the Spicy bomb flavour, but the korean woman warned us that its super spicy, so we ordered the Spicy tear flavour.

Somemore got this sign there :

Cute right?!?!?!?

So, after awhile the bowling alley had one open lane.

And we took it!

2 rounds for $21 -.-

Worth it not?

First round i played while eating my chicken and in the end tied with mel.

Then after ate finish my chicken and threw it away, i suddenly sucked at bowling.

the chicken brings me luck.

Then 2nd round scored only 20+ points. ):

After that we took a free shuttle back :D

In the bus we were planning about which school we should go after sec school.

and we decided to go to VJC.

Last time i wanted to go poly but now i changed my mind :D

Somemore both of them already planned on which subjects to take at sec 3 lah, and i have no clue.

Must study hard already lah.

GAHH.

Took a train to raffles place, while mel and josh went the other train.

Suppose to take a group picture but we were too rushy. ):

They are the best lah, dont know what i would do without them. :D

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OMFG.

You know the guy that died at the Singapore Zoo?

Well... i have his death video in my handphone!!

I had to pole dance for someone to get this video lah, its so precious.

Although its kind of cruel, but still so interesting.

Scared he might haunt me or sth.

Shall end this post with a picture of my dear Pepper...

Dont insult him if not you're gonna be chopped up into pieces and thrown into the singapore river.